Yes, you read the right – vaginal sweetening is a thing now. Through the dregs of Twitter by way of Instagram, I discovered a new product on the market called My Sweet. Being sold as a pill to help sweeten your secretions (lovely copy, by the way), it’s also touted to “support optimal performance and desire”, whatever that means. Does it really work? Why does this exist? I knew I was going to have to finger it out–pun intended.
First things first, ladies, you have to be honest with yourselves. The odor and taste of genitals is not the most pleasant. Consider it an acquired taste, like drinking scotch neat. No one takes their first swill of Glenlivet out of the bottle and then says, “Hey! That’s really good!” It’s not your fault it’s just the nature of the beast. We’ve all heard the slang terms for your lady bits: tuna, snapper, clam, etc. This should be a hint to the overall impression given by the odor. Although personally, I’ve found the taste to be more of an asparagus and sweat flavor. Either way, it should be a clue that hey, it’s not roses down there.
It’s not a one-way street, however. Ball sweat and dick cheese are real and I’m sure slobbing the knob is no treat when it comes to taste. Matter of fact, My Sweet now claims that their product is unisex so your fella’s cum can taste like fruit. Rumor has it that for years dudes have been stacking their diet with pineapple to get the same effect. The ingredients for the pills are listed on the website and at the top of the list is, you guessed it, pineapple. There’s also a number of other fruits and berries in the list, so maybe there’s some truth to it. If you’re really into cum, now you can have it your way.
But does it actually work? I’m highly skeptical so I did some searching on the web but I couldn’t find any reviews. Taking their website at face value raises some more eyebrows. They have a nice, low-resolution image claiming the pills are made in an FDA approved lab. Although once you scroll to the bottom of the home page, you’ll notice a disclaimer stating that the statements on the page are not at all backed by the FDA. I have to wonder how they would verify it? Would there be a room full of scientists going down on each other, marking the results on a clipboard while they wipe their partner’s fluid off their lips? Sounds kind of hot now that I think about it.
They have an Instagram account too, but it looks like they hired a number of amateur porn stars to pose with the bottle while attaching random marketing copy to the image. The My Sweet website also includes a quote from Glamour Magazine, but when I did a search for it on Glamour I came up with squat. My Sweet also has a ‘verified merchant’ badge stuck on the footer of the site but it’s currently displaying an unverified status. At this point, it’s smelling like something is rotten in Denmark.
To me, this is the perfect example of American in 2019 – a solution nobody needs to a problem that doesn’t exist. It may be anecdotal but I don’t know any woman that would start swallowing loads if it tasted better. Same with rug munching; you’re either into it or you’re not. There’s no magic pill that’s going to make the act more appealing. Let’s not worry so much about it and learn to love it. The more you do, the more your partner will.